As children we think of our parents as invincible, as a constant. There isn’t a moment that we truly think of our lives without them, holding our hand, a few steps behind, ready to guide us in the right direction.
It doesn’t matter how old we get, how much older they get. You are never ready for your parents to be your ghosts. You’re never ready for the phone call, the diagnosis, the permanence. Suddenly you are six again, lost in a department store, searching every aisle and calling out their name. Strangers offer to help, but you don’t know these voices or these faces. You just want the warm reassurance of your parent’s hand cupping your tiny fist assuring you that everything is okay, that they would never just leave you. But you don’t get that this time, there are no guarantees, life is unpredictable and cruel and you’re alone again. Lost in that big department store and this time there is no reassurance, this time you don’t get the firm grip of your parents hand, this time there is only you in a sea of aisles and the harsh fluorescent lights glaring off the floor.

The question is not ‘if we argue’ but ‘how do we argue?’ In relationships, romantic and otherwise, we must not see the person as the opponent, but, rather, the problem as the opponent. We must fight together to resolve it - from the same side. We must not hold grudges. And we must stop seeing each other as easily expendable. For life is full of compatible people, but there will be disagreements with all of them. It is in forging the bonds stronger than these disagreements that we find a deeper connection.

Stop ruining love by wanting it so bad.